Going on TV and filming her path to finding an extraordinary life partner was the furthest thing on Rachel Lindsey’s mind a few months prior to getting the chance of a lifetime to appear on the hit TV show The Bachelor. One afternoon Rachel and a colleague decide to audition on a whim in their hometown. Rachel knew very little about the show however, was willing to go through the process avoiding the dreaded question of “what if” ? After coming to the realization that her current relationship had run its course, with much hesitation, Rachel takes a leap of faith to begin her quest to find true love.
In the autobiography Miss Me With That by Rachel Lindsey, Rachel revisits and shares stories of her early youth growing up in Dallas, Texas. Rachel reveals key lessons learned during a string of pivotal experiences leading up to being cast on The Bachelor, season 21. Rachel is excited to give us all a closer look at her life prior to becoming America’s first black Bachelorette.
Rachel grew up in a close-knit family led by her father and patriarch of the home. Her parents, upper middle class professionals believed in setting the highest expectations for their children. Although Rachel’s parents grew up in a completely different time and era, they were adamant about raising their three daughters with the same Christian values that once shaped their lives. Rachel’s father encouraged her to be a fierce competitor whether striving for academic achievement or pushing through a tight race to get that “W” during her track and field events. Rachel’s parent’s commitment to family positioned her on the road to exceptional outcomes and a promising career.
Rachel attended Sunday services at her family’s Baptist church which was the foundation of their household. In protecting Rachel from outside influences she was closely monitored of what she viewed on television. When it came to forming new friendships, Rachel was required to remain within close parameters of school, church and Jack & Jill club. Eventually Rachel began to rebel in order to break away from her sheltered life. Rachel desperately wanted to form new connections with her peers in the neighborhood however, was met with resistance and bullying as she was referred to as not being “black enough”.
Rachel had to find a way to counter the challenges she faced growing up in a predominantly black neighborhood and having to travel to the other side of town to attend a predominantly white parochial school. Despite Rachel’s efforts to fit in, the isolation continued however, Rachel did somehow manage to forge a special friendship with a peer she shared common interests with who accepted her, quirks and all. This was an eye opening experience for Rachel because for once in her young life she was able to build a friendship without requirements in place allowing her to be her true authentic self.
After questioning her rejection from fellow black peers, she began to realize that the rejection didn’t call for internal change but external rather. Rachel began to intentionally expand her small circle of friends casting a wide net while immersing herself in black entertainment, music, sports, and current events. Rachel’s self doubt began to shrink as her awareness increased creating a new perspective. Rachel understood that we can all share the same identity without having gone through similar experiences…and that’s okay.
In her desire to have a relationship similar to that of her parent’s, Rachel, amid the countless campus activities including sorority life, tailgate parties and sporting events, maintained a list of requirements for her ideal man. Rachel soon learns that her list is just that “a list” and nothing more. Eventually life happened and Rachel’s list soon became obsolete.
After completing law school, Rachel had been dating what she thought was her future husband. She was determined to make her “final” relationship work because she dreaded starting all over again after all the time invested. The one thing missing in her life was a man that was willing to commit to her. Rachel decided to begin therapy sessions to help her process the on-going concerns in her relationship but therapy unexpectedly revealed what she knew all along. “I HAVE NO BUSINESS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP!” Rachel knew she overstayed her welcome in a south bound relationship without promise AKA relationship hustling! Rachel had to heal first to get back on track and on board.
What was once rumored became real when Rachel received confirmation that she was chosen to be on The Bachelor Season 21. Before Rachel knew it, she would be standing in a crowded room among all the other contestants in anticipation of a second encounter following her initial meeting with The Bachelor. The room was filled with excitement as the women waited for another chance at making a connection with their love interest. Needless to say, Rachel had her special moment so much so that she was ultimately given the first impression rose, much to her surprise.
After sizing up the other (stunning) contestants, Rachel initially didn’t think that she would make it far in the competition but after several group dates and one on one’s, Rachel made it down to the final three. Rachel didn’t receive a proposal but would later find out that she had been chosen to star next season as The Bachelorette.
On season 13 of The Bachelorette, Rachel gets the opportunity to meet a number of potential love interests vying for a chance at building a relationship that would ultimately lead to a proposal in the final episode. As you can imagine the whole process involved many moving parts while Rachel attempted to navigate and vet all the available bachelors. Rachel’s mixed bag of contestants unfortunately weren’t all there for the right reasons but that didn’t deter her from her goal.
After the many highs and lows that took place during The Bachelorette Season 13, Rachel Lindsey did in fact meet her Mr. Right.
On her ever changing road to finding love, Rachel has several eye opening pivotal moments that weren’t lost on her but allowed for further self examination and reflection that were key to becoming the person she is today.
Since her time on The Bachelorette and tying the knot with husband Bryan Abasolo, Rachel has become a correspondent for Extra, an author and co-host of Higher Learning podcast.
Sadly in early 2024 it was announced that Rachel and Bryan would be going their separate ways after 4 years of marriage.
